Why Aren’t We Mentoring Women?

Study after study shows that over 50% of the Millennial generation would like to have a mentor that spans both their private life and their public work realm. Yet, in the workplace, I find that most organizations do not have a mentoring program and if they do, it is not thriving. What is going on?

mind There are many reasons to make the case for mentoring, including:

  1. Gets employees engaged
  2. It helps to relieve stress and anxiety, especially for new employees or those in new roles
  3. Creates connections that help people thrive in their work life and at home

These are just the tip of the iceberg. In HR, the case for mentoring shows low employee turnover, increased motivation, increased employee satisfaction, lower conflict and even lower number of sick days taken. There are countless benefits to the morale and psyche of the employee.

Even in churches, the idea of discipline and helping someone grow spiritually has finally taken root. I believe that people are taking mentoring more seriously, especially with the increasing number of baby boomers who wish to impart some of their amazing knowledge to help others grow.

In the old days, apprenticeship used to be the way to pass on tricks of the trade and teach a young person how to take over the business. People used to groom the next generation for decades and bring them along in the ways of the world. Today, that idea has gone by the wayside for most occupations. It still exists in some areas, namely medicine, the arts, and technical jobs, but it is more of the exception than the rule. Men, for some reason seem to take mentoring in stride, allowing succession planning to take place. They also are open with networking and making business connections.

In my 20+ years of working in business, I have not found that to be the case for women. Women for some reason seem to have a harder time sharing their contacts and information. They find other women to be more of a challenge to their authority and thus will not take another under their wing. I don’t find many senior level women welcoming younger women to an open exchange of ideas. Not all women are averse to this, mind you, but again this has not been my own experience.

On the contrary, I find that men are more willing to share ideas, give you advice and support and help you make connections – even as a woman. 

I don’t think all the reasons for the failed woman to woman connection are sinister. I think they are a reflection of what is going on in the workforce and that they may not even be aware of the circumstances.  In my last blog, I mentioned that’s omen make up almost 50% of the workforce today, but that less than 10% are in the Executive level of organizations. That is one of the biggest reason s why I haven’t found many women mentoring. Many of them aren’t even in higher positions. Typically, you will find men there and thus, men are more readily accessible than women.

Another reason may be due to added duties in traditional women’s roles: workplace role, wife, mother, care provider, single bread-winner, etc. When there are home duties that are not shared with anyone else, it can become a massive burden for a woman to take on yet another role as mentor. This is supported by a study done by DDI in 2014 that found over 65% of women never had a mentor and a whopping 75% said they would not mentor due to lack of time due to family obligations.

So, what can YOU do?

 

If you are a woman reading this article, I encourage you to join our Community of Christian Women‘s Group in OKC. It is a group that is getting ready to launch a mentoring  program in the Fall of 2018. If you don’t want to join a group, think about the work relationships you have and see if there is someone who might be interested in a mentor. You could also take the first step and ask someone you admire to be your mentor – it’s a sweet compliment and a great way to establish a positive relationship – even if she doesn’t have time to be your mentor. 
Steps to take :

1. Meet monthly! It doesn’t have to be a weekly thing

2. Meet during the workday. If you have time to go have a cup of coffee… You have time to be mentored or be a mentor to someone

3. Start small – you don’t have to join a big formal program with a workbook. Just meet, talk & get to know one another first

4. Join a group that supports and recognizes the value of mentoring (like CCBW for women and CBMC for men). 

5. Ask me if you don’t know where to start in your organization! I’d love to help! 

The bottom line is to start somewhere – start in at your workplace, start in your neighborhood, start in your church group… GO and  reach out to someone. You will be blessed far greater than you think and you will find that all those reasons against being a mentor to someone else will melt away.



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Women’s History Month!

Women's History Month

It’s MARCH!

I wanted to shine the light on WOMEN all over the world as we celebrate contributions, discuss women’s issues (gender disparity, education, etc), and of course, discuss Diversity & Inclusion. My challenge to all my sisters out there is to go out there and SERVE another!

Some say that we should not have one month to focus on women’s rights and issues, but that it should be a focus 365 days. I agree – however, I think it’s good to have at least some time to highlight and bring special awareness. It is my hope that this month will give you a chance to explore ministries or choose an area for advocacy… not just to “talk about it,” but to actually DO something!

By the way, International Women’s Day is March 8 – being an “International Woman,” I have a special highlight article for that day!

Stay Tuned…

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Matthew 5:14

Inspire or Expire

inspire

Did you know that to INSPIRE means to BREATHE? My husband is trained as a respiratory therapist and when he was in school, he was always talking about inspiration. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that inspiration is to breathe in and expiration is to breathe out, or to die.

I was getting a presentation ready for the State of Oklahoma on Employee Engagement and what really gets people plugged into an organization’s vision, mission and culture. Being able to INSPIRE others was a theme that emerged from all the research. Inspiring means to motivate others to go out of their comfort zone. It means to stimulate or get people charged up – not just about coming to work day in and day out, but to truly get them to see how their daily work can have a lasting impact on the organization and their community.

Encouraging others is a constant theme for me as I mentor other women in business (see CCBWOKC on Facebook). To be able to breathe life can be daunting… especially on those days that I might be struggling to even get ready in the morning. So how do you do this? How do you inspire others to be something different?

For me, the answer comes through the Holy Spirit. The Hebrew word for the Holy Spirit or the Spirit of God is “RUACH.” Ruach means wind or breath. It’s an onomatopoeia which means that the word is the same as the sound it makes. This is the same Ruach God breathes into Adam in Genesis 2:7 (KJV)~ And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. The breath of life is the same as the inspiration we should pray for today. God is the same  yesterday, today and tomorrow. He doesn’t change. The same breath he breathed into Adam is the same inspiration you need today.

The way to help others is to share words that bring life to others. As Christians, our speech should always be full of grace, seasoned with salt (Colossians 4:6). By the way, this is the verse I use for the header of my blog! For me, it means that if my words are not glorifying to God and wrapped in love, I should not be speaking them. This is not easy to do!  However, if you become mindful of what you are getting ready to say to someone and think about it for just a second or two, you can quickly evaluate to see if it is tearing down or building up.

Inspiration is to breathe into someone, to encourage, build up and motivate. Let’s focus on doing these things instead of discouraging, tearing down, and hurting. Inspire others so you can be a light in the darkness!

On Labor and Work

labor-day3

Today is the day that the United States pays homage to the contribution made by workers and to the resulting productivity and commerce. For me, it’s a curious thing to not do work in order to think about and pay tribute to work. A bit of irony…

When I moved to the US and first heard the term “Labor Day, ” I thought it was a day to commemorate mothers who have had children, but then I realized that “Mother’s Day” did that already earlier in the year. There are so many holidays that made no sense to me as an immigrant. Maybe I thought too much about all of this and should have simply enjoyed another day off.

The freedictionary.com defines labor as:

la·bor

(lā′bər)

n.

1. Physical or mental exertion, especially when difficult or exhausting; work. See Synonyms at work.
2. A specific task or effort, especially a painful or arduous one: “Eating the bread was a labor I put myself through toquiet my stomach” (Gail Anderson-Dargatz).
3. A particular form of work or method of working: manual labor.
4. Work for wages: businesses paying more for labor.

5.a. Workers considered as a group.

   b. The trade union movement, especially its officials.
6. Labor A political party representing workers’ interests, especially in Great Britain.
7. The process by which childbirth occurs, beginning with contractions of the uterus and ending with the expulsion of the fetus or infant and the placenta.
In essence, I was ignoring the definitions #3 – 6 and focused on 1, 2 and 7. The Bible sets the standard for both WORK and LABOR right at the beginning, in Genesis. We see God at work, creating the Heavens and the Earth because on the seventh day, He rested. Genesis 2:2-3  says “And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made.” God also gave Adam a job to do in the garden. As I mentioned in another blog post titled “Bringing LIFE to Work,” Adam’s duties for work didn’t change after the Fall – instead, everything became more difficult, frustrating and arduous. That was the price of sin entering into a perfect world.
Labor came into play for Eve as well. In Genesis 3:16, “To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” So Eve, in essence, also gets work assigned to her in a different way. While the ground will bring about thorns and thistles for Adam and cause him great frustration, Eve’s pain comes from her children… sound familiar to anyone?
In our home, we have a measure of relative peace. It is common, however, for my husband to call me with great frustrations from his work – from contracts that are not going well, customer care, to employee issues = thorns and thistles. For me, even though I work in the business world, it doesn’t seem to bother me as much as it does for him. I’m not sure why that is. However, hand me a kid-related issue and I go crazy! One of the translations (KJV) says it a bit differently ” I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children…” I think with teenagers, I can relate to the “sorrow” part due to the heartaches we deal with.
It is a true testimony to the love we bear one another that we even have children and families. Men and women take on a lot when they are the sole earners for their families. It’s a tough burden to bear. Many women who choose to stay at home are not dismissed from the Labor and Work category. In fact, as someone who took years off to be exclusively at home with our children, I can attest to the fact that at least at work you can get a coffee break or a bathroom break without someone barging in with a request! Marriage takes love, sacrifice and work. Children take love, sacrifice and work (and no thanks many times). Families take a lot of love, sacrifice and work, yet millions of people sign on willingly to do all of this.
In a culture that is trying to break down marriage, family and the home, it’s a good day to reflect upon the work that you do apart from work in the office also. Take into consideration what God has worked on to show you His love and sacrifice. In turn, offer that to others by sharing what the Lord has given you.
From the fruit of his mouth a man is satisfied with good, and the work of a man’s hand comes back to him. ~Proverbs 12:14
May you glorify God in all you do and may your work be blessed. Amen.

No Thanks

truck
Good Day Turned Bad

I was in such a good mood, humming a tune to myself when a truck wanted to be let in on the side of the road. I waited patiently, smiled and signaled with my hand to go ahead. The dude didn’t say anything, jammed out and then slammed his brakes in front of me, almost causing a wreck.

I don’t know what upset me more – his crazy driving or the fact that he did not follow proper driving etiquette. When someone motions you to go ahead, you should always give a little wave or even a smile or something to acknowledge the good deed you just did… right? I thought everyone knew that! Apparently, Mr. Driver of Chevy Silverado did not know anything about this nor did he care.As we drove along to the next traffic light, it occurred to me that good manners might be a thing of the past and that the word “THANK YOU” is also a relic that I am desperately hanging on to.

In a recent training workshop, I asked the group for non-monetary ways to motivate employees. Recognition came up towards the top, but many didn’t know how to recognize people without making a big production. My suggestion of a thank you note caused a reaction. My questions to the group were “When is the last time you got a thank you from someone?,” “When was the last time you got a hand written note from someone?,” “When was the last time you received a thank you note in the mailbox with a stamp on it?” The last question is the one that caused many to put their hands down.

Saying “THX” on a text might be a start, but it doesn’t do anything for someone. Spelling out “Thank you” on an e-mail is better, but it’s still informal. There is something about paper. There is something about seeing handwriting on a sheet of paper and being able to receive it the old fashioned way. I received a folded up sheet of paper with a hand written note from an employee at Campbell Soup once. He worked in the Tomato Operations plant and there was a small smudge on the top of the note with a piece of tomato on it. It wasn’t disgusting, but so very sweet! To take out the time to find a sheet of paper (hard to do out on the manufacturing floor), take a pen, jot down something thoughtful (one line of what he was thanking me for) and then to fold it up & leave it on your desk. Such an effort, that years later, I still appreciate it. Also, just so you know. I KEEP all my hand-written thank you’s. I am a romantic and love to recall affirmations. It’s sweet to go through and see how you may have impacted someone’s life or just made their day a bit brighter.

A couple things on creating a thankful culture: write a note immediately! I jot down a few things on the back of a receipt for the server, along with a nice tip for service. Keep a small notepad and pen handy in your car. I even have blank thank you cards with envelopes in my car for people.thank-you-note

If you are at work, try dropping off a hand-written card on a person’s desk but don’t discount the heartfelt thank you that is written on a paper napkin or a grocery sack. These are the things that help to make the day a bit better and seem more civil. Someone told me that the thank you notes and personal hand written notes have restored their sense of connection to coworkers.  We are all in this together… so why not do something unexpected and out of the ordinary for someone?

By the way, if someone forgets to thank you, don’t worry too much about that also. It’s helpful to me to remember that we get our thanks in Heaven and should not expect it from mankind (Luke 6:35). It’s not easy to do, especially when you feel like you went out of your way to do something nice for someone, but unless we take the first step in acknowledging, appreciating and serving others – the culture will not change. In fact, it will get worse. This is why I  really did I forgive that man who jumped in and then added insult to injury (that’s why I cropped out his license plate out of the picture! Ha ha!) and then I was prompted to think about what can I do to change some of these things that I see in business and in daily life. I hope that you will also take the time to pass on a small kindness to someone today.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. ~ Ephesians 4:32