Fear of Rejection

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If you Google “Fear of Rejection,” you’ll find about 54,700,000 results in 0.42 seconds. It is a real fear – there are phobias named for this. As a people-pleaser, I know that  it’s difficult for me to not be liked by everyone. When I was a child and had just moved to the United States, I was always the LAST ONE to be chosen for a team… I don’t blame them – I didn’t know how to play baseball or dodge-ball.  Nobody wanted a “loser” to be on their team! Later, as a senior manager in a corporate setting, I would try to be on everyone’s team to gain their favor. I was told by my boss that  it was ridiculous for me to please everyone. Going through life, the career advice I received was correct.

Rejection comes all the time and in many different ways. Our children suffer through it, we have strangers and friends who reject our ideas, plans or even dreams and even family members who don’t want to have anything to do with us. How do we handle this as adults? What’s behind all of this? Why are we not able to help our own children with the rejection they will face?

We are created as social beings, to have community with others and not be isolated. When we are rejected, it can cause a loss of self-confidence (maybe I’m not good enough, maybe I’m a failure,  I smell bad, look weird, etc) – even depression. Psychologists say that at the heart of the fear is the avoidance of pain and suffering. So we try to cope with other ways of feeling good. Some turn to drugs and alcohol, while others live in a constant state of worry.

Where does your confidence and assurance come from?

Is it from other people? If so, be careful… they maybe as fearful or broken as you.

Is it from doing good works? If so, those can ring hollow after a while when no one else notices!

Is it from your career? Is it from money? Take a look and examine yourself.

The only thing that has changed my view on rejection, pain and suffering is CHRIST.

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Passion of the Christ
Christ suffered pain from scourging, beatings, and being nailed to the cross. His trauma on the cross brought about a new word in our language “excruciating” which means literally out of the cross (ex: out & cruc: cross). He is the only sinless person to ever live who had his blood poured out drop by drop for the salvation of sinful man. He felt pain until the last moment when he cried out in John 19:30 “It is finished.”

If you are a believer in Christ as your Lord and Savior, what are you worried about? He promised us that we would be rejected as he said in John 15: “17 This is My command to you: Love one another. 18If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me first. ” We are actually CALLED to suffer and be JOYFUL in the things we are dealing with! Why? 

Romans 5:3-5 answers this:

3And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

So… what’s your hang up? Why worry about being rejected and having to suffer. Christ suffered and if we are to reflect Christ as Christians, we should be ready with the knowledge that we will be rejected. We will be mocked as foolish. We will suffer… but we will overcome these things — not in our own power, but in the power of Christ who has defeated death, the ultimate enemy and has RISEN from the grave! Hallelujah!

What a reason to celebrate REJECTION!!!

May Christ be the ONE you turn to for your confidence and assurance. Amen.

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El Roi – God Who Sees Me

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Can you imagine having a Muslim covering on while at the airport? We all know how difficult it is to travel with the hassles of airport security but for one woman, this was compounded by wearing a hijab and dealing with little ones, passing through security and then feeling like all eyes are upon you.

A friend and I were on the way to Florida a few years ago. A young woman in a hijab caught my eye while getting on the plane – not because of her hijab, but truly because of her lovely little children. They were darling and were seated a few rows behind us. Having my crochet stuff in hand and a long flight, I settled in to see if I could whip up matching crochet hats for the little ones. It was a bit stressful, but somehow, it was done. When the plane stopped and everyone jumped up, I said hello and gave her the gift of my hands. She was shocked and so was her husband. They had the largest smiles on their faces when they saw my backpack full of yarn. She quickly asked me for my name and we connected on Facebook. This was a chance encounter – over two years ago.

This morning, I opened a package in the mail… it was a hand-written note and the most beautiful beaded jewelry that took my breath away from the same woman. She said she was not good on time management and I am sure any woman with little children can attest to that.   It’s not about the timing of the note, it’s not even about the woman who gave the gift of her own hands, but it’s about God who sees me and knows what I love.

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The gift comes at a time that I offered up everything to God in prayer. This is not a shallow offering, but one of taking a step out in faith. I know that He has good plans for me. These plans may not look anything like I want or even foresee. But I know that God is the One who sees us. He is El Roi.

Genesis 16 says that Hagar was sent to Arabia after Sarah (Abraham’s wife) treated her harshly after she learned that she had conceived Abraham’s child. She prayed to God in her distress and he answered her. The Bible says in Genesis 16:13 thatShe gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me (El Roi). Muslims, Christians and Jews believe this to be true.

I know that God knows my heart and this morning’s package of jewelry and beautiful hand-beaded work was a love note directly from Him. He knows the details of your life and the desires of your heart. Offer yourself up to Him as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1) and watch what He does with your life.  He is the Almighty God and when He is involved in the details, there is nothing and no one who can harm you. He reminds us of this in Hebrews 13:6 “So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

So with that in mind and in prayer, why don’t you reach out to a Muslim TODAY with love?Why not share in the talents and gifts God has given you? Why not invite someone of a different and even challenging belief to a meal in your home? Why not do something positive and encouraging for a world that is hurting? Do not fear and do not be afraid – especially of sharing your love that is in Christ Jesus.

Who knows? You might be a recipient of someone’s love two years later!

May God be given all the glory. Amen.